This ice cream won't make you lose your head, but you might come away dizzy. The trick is to mix this just enough, but not too much. Just enough for the black beans to release their heft, for the bananas to lend their velour, for the figs to pop ... but just shy of smoothness. I like the petal-like feel of bean skins and the toothy scavenger hunt of fig seeds.
The murky fig and the port make this ice cream taste very adult, like some dusty bottle in the back of your parents' liquor cabinet. Adding chocolate might be overkill, or it might not. But don't say I didn't warn you.
Recipe: Add to blender 1 cup frozen black beans, half a frozen banana, 5 dried figs, and two glugs of port. Puree until just mixed. Serves 2.
P.S. I got an iPhone so the pictures will look a little different from now on. I promise I won't use wonky filters. I also expect I will be tweeting more often.